An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

                           EXCUSES 

 The following is a collection of "actual excuse notes from parents 
 (including spelling)" from the Office of Educational Assessment at 
 the University of Washington.

    * My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. 
      Please execute him.
    * Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her 
      shot.
    * Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 
      30, 31,32, and also 33.
    * Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. 
    * Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he 
      fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
    * John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his 
      face.
    * Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He 
      was hurt in the growing part.
    * Megan could not come to school today because she has been 
       bothered by very close veins.
    * Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 
    * Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea 
      and his boots leak.
    * Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
    * Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
    * Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot 
      to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
       Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
     * Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend 
      her funeral.
    * My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She 
      spent a weekend with the Marines.
    * Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold 
      and could not breed well.
    * Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed 
      with gramps.
    * Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
     * Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. 
    * Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
      sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
      sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever 
      and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and 
      fever. There must be something going around, her father even
      got hot last night.

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