On a ski lift in Taos, NM:
'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'

Official sign near door:  Door Alarmed.
Handprinted sign nearby:  Window frightened.

Guys:  No shirt, No service
Girls: No shirt, No charge

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus  (translation of the 
Greek):
'Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice'

A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race
Let's see who can go downhill the fastest

Sign in King's Canyon in California.
'Slow Parking Ahead'

MORE OF AN AD THAN A SIGN, but...
A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from 
Johannesburg
International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a 
photo of a BMW 328i
convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The 
caption reads:' Our
hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'

Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen 
several years ago:
restrooms
 <-----
Please wait for hostess to seat you.

Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at  7:30pm.

Seen in a health food store_
" Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic 
carrot "

"Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.
"

I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign 
read:
Women are not served here...
You have to bring your own.