An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

 Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.
              
 There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
                
 ===============================================
                               
     
 The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
             
 An X above the number will indicate "in use."
                                 
     
 (Sample):
                                                                     
     
  |   |   | x |   |   | x |     (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
                
  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |     are occupied.)
                                 
  -------------------------
                                                    
     
 You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at
                  
 which stall you are to correctly stand.  Good luck!
                           
     
  --------------------
                                                         
    Easy Section
                                                               
  --------------------
                                                         
 1.)
                                                                           
     
  |   | x |   | x |   |   |     (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
                    
  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                                                    
  -------------------------
                                                    
     
 Your choice: ___
                                                              
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
            
 Correct answer: 6        It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
             
                          instinctively knows this.
                            
 ===============================================
                               
 2.)
                                                                           
     
  | x |   |   |   |   |   |    (Urinal 1 occupied.)
                            
  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                                                    
  -------------------------
                                                    
     
 Your choice:  ___
                                                             
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
            
 Correct answer: 6        Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a
                 
                          greater risk of being next to someone
                
                          who arrives later.
                                   
 ===============================================
                               
  -------------------------
                                                    
  Kind of tricky Section:
                                                      
  -------------------------
                                                    
 3.)
                                                                           
     
  |   |   |   |   |   |   |   (empty)
                                          
  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                                                    
  --------------------------
                                                   
     
 Your choice:  __
                                                              
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
            
 Correct answer:  1 or 6    You are tacitly saying,
                            
                            "I don't want anyone next to me."
                  
 ===============================================
                               
 4.)
                                                                           
     
   |   | x |   | x |   | x |       (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
                       
   | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                                                   
   -------------------------
                                                   
     
 Your choice:  ___
                                                             
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
            
 Correct answer:  1        You're stuck being next to at
                       
                           least ONE guy, so you minimize the
                  
                           impact and get a wall on your left.
                 
                           NEVER go between TWO guys if you
                    
                           can help it.  Exceptions to this
                    
                           are stadium restrooms where the
                     
                           herd thunders in.
                                   
 ===============================================
                               
  -----------------------------------------------
                              
  Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
                                
  -----------------------------------------------
                              
 5.)
                                                                           
     
 |   | x |   |   | x | x |          (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
                      
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                                                     
  -------------------------
                                                    
     
 Your choice:  __
                                                              
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
            
 Correct answer:  4       Believe it or not,  1 and 3 "couples"
                
                          you with the guy in stall 2.  And we
                 
                          wouldn't want THAT now, would we?
                    
     
                          This differs from question 4 in such a
               
                          subtle way that the nuances cannot be
                
                          explained.  Suffice to say, only we men
              
                          would understand!
                                    
 ===============================================
                               
  -----------------------------
                                                
  VERY tricky indeed Section
                                                   
  -----------------------------
                                                
 6.)
                                                                           
     
 | x | x |   |   | x | x |          (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
                   
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
                                                     
  -------------------------
                                                    
     
 Your choice:  ___
                                                             
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
            
 Correct answer:  NONE!  You go to the mirror and pretend to
                   
                         comb your hair or straighten a tie
                    
                         until the urinals "open up" a bit more.
               
                         If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for
                 
                         goodness sake! ... use a doored stall.
                
 ===============================================
                               
 Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
                             
  -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep
              
     it terse and unemotional.  This ain't no clubhouse.
                       
  -- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of
               
     anyone other than yourself.  A touch of another's elbow is of
             
     the highest offense.
                                                      
  -- NO Singing.  Period.
                                                      
  -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see
            
     you there.  I will not look again".

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