An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

Bad: You can't find your vibrator.  Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.  Worse: You're in it.

Bad: Your children are sexually active.  Worse: With each other.

Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser.  Worse: He looks better than you.

Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.  Worse: As a sacrifice.

Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.  Worse: She's a lawyer.

Bad: Your wife's leaving you.  Worse: For another woman.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.  Bad: You're arrested.  Worse: By your husband.

Good: The postman's early.  Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.

Good: The secretary said "yes."  Bad: Your wife says "no."

Good: You came home for a quickie.  Bad: So did the postman.

Good: You came home for a quickie.  Bad: Your wife walks in.

Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."  Bad: For real.

Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.  Bad: She's thirteen.

Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.  Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.

Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.  Bad: You live downtown.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.  Bad: She's coming home.

Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them.

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