Womanspeak                English
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* You want              <=>  You want
* We need               <=>  I want
* It's your decision    <=>  The correct decision should be obvious by now
* Do what you want      <=>  You'll pay for this later
* We need to talk       <=>  I need to complain
* Sure... go ahead      <=>  I don't want you to.
* I'm hungry            <=>  (a) Make me something to eat.
                             (b) Stop what you are doing, scrape 
                                 together your last $5, and go drive
                                 across town and get me something to 
                                 eat. I don't care if what you are 
                                 doing is important.
 * I'm not upset         <=>  Of course I'm upset,you moron.
 * You're ... so manly   <=>  You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
 * You're certainly      <=>  Is sex all you ever think about?
   attentive tonight.
 * I'm not emotional!    <=>  I'm on my period.
   And I'm not overreacting!
 * Be romantic, turn     <=>  I have flabby thighs.
   out the lights.
 * This kitchen is so    <=>  I want a new house.
   inconvenient
 * The car is empty      <=>  Go fill it up
 * The trash is full     <=>  Take it out
 * The dog is barking    <=>  Go outside in your underware and see
                              what is wrong
 * I want new curtains   <=>  and carpeting, and furniture, and
   wallpaper.....
 * I need wedding shoes  <=>  the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
 * Hang the picture there<=>  NO, I mean hang it there!
 * I heard a noise       <=>  I noticed you were almost asleep.
 * Do you love me?       <=>  I'm going to ask for something expensive.
 * How much do you love  <=>  I did something today you're really not
   me                         going to like.
 * I'll be ready in      <=>  Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
   a minute.                  T.V.
 * Is my butt fat?       <=>  Tell me I'm beautiful.
 * You have to learn     <=>  Just agree with me.
   to communicate.
 * Are you listening     <=>  Too late, your dead.
   to me!?
 * It's all right, dear. <=>  You'll pay for this.
 * Yes                   <=>  No
 * No                    <=>  No
 * Maybe                 <=>  No
 * I'm sorry.            <=>  You'll be sorry.
 * Do you like this      <=>  It's easy to fix,
   recipe?                    so you'd better get use to it.
 * Was that the baby ?   <=>  Why don't you get out of bed and
                              walk him until he goes to sleep.
 * I'm not yelling !     <=>  Yes I am yelling because
                              I think this is important.
 * All we're going to    <=>  It goes without saying that we're
    buy is a soap dish        stopping at the cosmetics department,
                              the shoe department, let's look at a few
                              new pocket books, and OMIGIOD there's
                              a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these
                              pink sheets look great in the bedroom
                              and did you bring your checkbook?

  ------------------- /* in answer to "What's wrong?" */
   --The same old thing. <=>  Nothing.
   --Nothing.            <=>  Everything.
   --Everything.         <=>  My PMS is acting up.
   --Nothing, really.    <=>  It's just that you're such an asshole.
   --I don't want to     <=>  Go away, I'm still building up steam.
     talk about it.
  --What makes you      <=>  I'm going to kill you.
    think there is
    something wrong?
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