PICK-UP REBUTTAL HUMOR

1.) Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

2.) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know.  Will two people fit under a
rock?"

3.) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks.  There's already one asshole in there."

4.)  The most memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy
who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a
girl to dance and she refused:
Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."

5.) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

6.) Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."

7.) Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places
with you."
Woman: (tries to ignore him)
Man: "You know what?  I also love sex.  What do you say to
that?"
Woman: "Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?" Man: (nods his head
smiling)
Woman: "Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!"

8.) I like the line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying
to pick up this girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad
spike through a 2x4 with your hard-on?"  To which he merely shudders a
negative.  She says, "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards."

9.) Man: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

10.) Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.

11.) And here's one including the correct snappy return
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized,
fuck off!"

12.) After hearing a pick-up line:
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."

13.) A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's
approach her in a club while she was in college with the line,
"Where have you been all my life?" She took one glance at him and
said, "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet."

14.) A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over
vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who
had just walked by.  She turned around and said to me, "What are you looking

at?"  My friend, walking next to me came  to the rescue, "He thought you
were
good looking, but he was mistaken."

15.) While at college, a few friends were discussing how their
"passes" had been rejected by the intended female recipient.
One of the ladies explained how she handled it once...
When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out
something like, "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the
same reason!"   She responded,  "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" He
immediately blanched, and decided that maybe he would look someplace else.

16.) The attractive young woman was sitting at the bar, alone,
when the lounge lizard made his move.  "I'm here," he breathed
huskily, "to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." The woman turned and
looked at him. Her lips parted and she moistened them with the tip of her
tongue. She leaned toward him with her hands on her thighs, and her eyes
opened to the size of dinner plates. She paused just a second and then
delivered the crusher line, "You've got a large donkey or Doberman?"