An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

Men are like department stores.....
their clothes should be half off.

Men are like vacations....
they never seem to be long enough.

Men are like computers....
hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers....
load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars...
sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like coffee...
the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night.

Men are like horoscopes....
they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers....
they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like cement...
after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like laxatives....
they irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like parking spots....
the good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped.

A man is like a snowstorm....
you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or
how long it will last.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Why are men like lawnmowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors and don't work half
the time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?
We don't know, it hasn't happened yet.

Why are men like tile floors?
If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them
for 20 years.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

AND FINALLY.....

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring
and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
Forwarded by: pharmgal@juno.com

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