An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

INSIDER'S GUIDE TO MALE VOCABULARY

Haven't I seen you before?"
     --"Nice ass."

I'm a romantic."
    --"I'm poor."

I need you."
   --"My hand is tired."

I am different from all the other guys."
   --"I am not circumcised."

I want a commitment."
      --"I'm sick of masturbation."

You're the only girl I've ever cared about"
    --"You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

I really want to get to know you better."
   --"So I can tell my friends about it."

She's kinda cute."
    --"I want to have sex with her 'til I'm blue."

I don't know if I like her."
      --"She won't sleep with me."

I miss you so much."
      --"I'm so horny my male roommate is starting to look
          good."

"Was it good for you?"
       --"I'm insecure about my manhood."

"How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?"
        --"Is my penis really that small?"
 
"Do you love me?"
       --"I've done something stupid and you might find out."
 
"Do you really love me?"
      --"I've done something stupid and you're going to  find
 out sooner or later."

"How much do you love me?"
    --"I've done something really stupid and someone's on
         their way to tell you about it."

"I've got something to tell you."
         --"Get tested."

"I'll give you a call."
       --"I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than
          see you again."

"I've been thinking a lot."
      --"You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
 
"I think we should just be friends."
       --"You're ugly."

"I've learned a lot from you."
        --Next!!!!"

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