***Dictionary of Dating
ATTRACTION: the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: what occurs when two extremely horny, but not
entirely choosy, people meet.
DATING: the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,
and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't
especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less
in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL: avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,
and dating repulsive men (drummers?).
EASY: a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals
of a man.
EYE CONTACT: a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a
man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so,
many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not
necessarily due to their shyness, but usually due to the fact that
a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND: a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has
some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE: a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING: a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him
do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT: what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months
together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY: how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC: a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.
SOBER: condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love
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