An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

From:
Subject: 	Medical "humor"

A collection of documentation statements actually found on patient's
charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were
written by various health care professionals including (we are afraid) a
doctor or two at several major hospitals.
 
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
 
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the
pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
 
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
 
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
 
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
 
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989
when she got a divorce.
 
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran
out of gas and crashed.
 
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
 
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who
is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
 
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los
Angeles.
 
She is numb from her toes down.
 
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
 
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.
 
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

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