Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain 
 and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate 
 ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to 
 his First Mate,  "Bring me my red shirt!"
 
 The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, 
 which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the 
 pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred 
 among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
 
 Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two 
 pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered 
 in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed,
 "Bring me my red shirt!"
 
 And once again the battle was on. The Captain and his crew 
 repelled both boarding parties, however this time more 
 casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat 
 around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences 
 when  an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why 
 did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
 
 The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain 
 can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt 
 does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to 
 fight unafraid...
 
 The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a 
 man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed 
 that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding 
 parties on their way.  The men became silent and looked to 
 the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, 
 calm as ever, bellowed,  "Bring me my brown pants!"