> Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
> Joke #1
>
> "Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed.
>
> Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. "
>
> Joke #2
>
> How do you make five pounds of fat look pretty?
> Put a nipple on the end.
>
> Joke #3
>
> A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the
side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and brings
it into the car.
> She says, "Look, it's shivering...it must be cold. What should I
> do?"
> He says, "Put it between your legs."
> She says, "What about the smell?"
> He says, "Hold its nose."
>
> Joke #4
>
> Norris walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me.
> I've got a constant erection. At first it was fun, but then it became
painful and embarrassing."
> While the doctor's examining him, a bug jumps off his dick and his
boner goes right down.
> Norris says, "Gee, Doc, that's great. How much do I owe you?"
> The doctor says, "If I can find that bug, you don't owe me
> anything."
>
>
>
> Harry and his wife are having hard times, so they decide she'll
become a hooker.
> She's not sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of
that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a
question, I'll be parked around the corner."
> She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How
> much?"
> She says, "A hundred dollars."
> He says "Shit. All I've got is thirty."
> She says, "Hold on."
> She runs back to Harry and says, "What can he get for thirty
> dollars?"
> Harry says, "A handjob".
> She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars
is a handjob. He says
> okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a
huge cock. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right
back."
> She runs back around the corner and says, "Harry, can you loan
this guy seventy bucks?"
>
>
>
> There's a drunk at one end of a bar, and a woman in a tight
low-cut black dress at the other end of the bar.The woman has her hand
raised, waving for the bartender, and she has an incredibly hairy armpit.
> The drunk yells out, "Give me a drink, and give a drink to that
> ballerina down there."
> The bartender says, "How do you know she's a ballerina?"
> The bartender says, "Who else could get her leg up that high?"
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