An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. 
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I will show you
a man who can't get his pants off!

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

I'm not having hot flashes, I'm having power surges!

Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.

If nothing sticks to Teflon, then how does it stick to the pan?

Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Having an out of body experience. Back in five.

Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.

If at first you don't succeed, to heck with it.

Do unto others, then run.-Benny Hill

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

Men and Women | Work & Occup. | School & Educ. | Medical | Computer
Self Analysis | Fact & Fallacy | Religion/Holidays | Just Jokes | Misc