An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

>NOTES TO PONDER
>
>
> Needing a man is like needing a parachute.  If he isn't there the first
> time you need him, chances are you won't need him again.
>
> On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
>
> Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
>
> There are very few personal problems that can't be solved through a
> suitable application of high explosives.
>
> Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
>
> Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than
> expected.  Carefully planned projects take four times longer to
> complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their
>planning to reduce the time it takes.
>
> God did not create the world in 7 days; he messed around for 6 days
> and then pulled an all-nighter.
>
> I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.
>
> Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
>
> Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.  They should both be
> changed regularly and for the same reason.
>
> People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that
> Benjamin Franklin said it first.
>
> I can only please one person per day.  Today is not your day.
> Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
>
> Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
> thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
>
> I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.
>
> Indecision is the key to flexibility.
>
> If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
>
> I don't get even, I get odder.
>
> In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
>
> I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
>
> I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
>
> Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
>
> My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
>
> I am having an out of money experience.
>
> I plan on living forever.  So far, so good.
>
> Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
>
> Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
>
> A day without sunshine is like night.
>
> I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
>
> If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have inlaws.
>
> There's no need to fear falling - it's the sudden stop at the bottom
> that warrants the fear.
>
> Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
>-- 
>
pwhsu

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