An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

Questions Asked of Park Rangers

These questions were actually asked of various park rangers across the continent.

Everglades National Park:
* "Are the alligators real?"
* "Are the baby alligators for sale?"
* "Where are the rides?"
* "What time does the two o'clock bus leave?"

Grand Canyon National Park:
* "Was this man-made?"
* "Do you light it up at night?"
* "I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom -- where is it?"
* "Is the mule train air conditioned?"
* "So where are the faces of the presidents?"
* "So is that Canada over there?"

Denali National Park:
* "What time to you feed the bears?"
* "What's so wonderful about Wonder Lake?"
* "Can you show me where the Yeti lives?"
* "How often do you mow the tundra?"

Mesa Verde National Park:
* "Did people build this, or did Indians?"
* "Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?"
* "Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"
* "Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?"

Yellowstone National Park:
* "Does Old Faithful erupt at night?"
* "Do you put the animals away at night?"
* "How do you turn it on?"
* "When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?"

Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
* "How much of the cave is underground?"
* "So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?"
* "Does it ever rain in here?"
* "So what is this -- just a hole in the ground?"

Yosemite National Park:
* "Where are the cages for the animals?"
* "What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?"
* "What happened to the other half of Half Dome?"
* "Can I get a picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?"

Banff National Park:
* "Is that food coloring in the lakes?"
* "When did you build the glaciers?"
* "How much for a moose?"
* "Where are the igloos?"
* "How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the Elk Crossing
* "At what elevation does an elk become a moose?"
* "Are the bears with collars tame?"
* "Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?"
* "Is it ok to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or
should I store it in my tent?"
* "Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?"
* "Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?"
* "How far is Banff from Canada?"
* "What's the best way to see Canada in a day?"
* "When we enter British Columbia, do we have to convert our money to
British pounds?"
* "Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they?"
* "Are there phones in Banff?"
* "So it's eight kilometers away. Is that in miles?"
* "We're on the decibel system, you know."
* "Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?"

Glacier National Park:
* "When do the deer become elk?"
* "When do the glaciers go by?"

Sutter's Fort State Historic Park, Sacramento
* "Where are the tracks the wagon trains ran on?"
* "Where do you cook?" / "We cook over the fire here." / "Don't your pans melt?"


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