The following
are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in
New Woman Magazine.
Third Place:
"While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided
to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving right
now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye
and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right
now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
night! "The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last
of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams
of laughter."
Second Place:
"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at
home, my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend
over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love,
we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend
that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want
to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. "When we
got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire family aunts,
uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there!
My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment
for what seemed like an eternity. "Since then, no one in my family
has planned a surprise party again."
First Place:
"One of the funniest 'most-embarrassing-moment' stories I've
come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items
at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment
when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store
to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
misunderstood the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: "DO
YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND
IN WITH A HAMMER?" |
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