An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

                 Top 17 Programmer's Terminologies

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still
   pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO
   THE PROBLEM -  We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind
   schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing
   blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING  - We are so surprised
   that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person
   who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the
   situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it!  We have enough problems for now.

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the
    screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you
    have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've
    already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!

14. ALL NEW - Code not interchangeable with the previous design.

15. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - It finally worked!

16. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.

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