An Archive of Email Forwards - Ouija Cat '98-'01

How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft 
Were Located In Georgia!  

1. Their No. 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders".

2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.

3. Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a
Hefty bag and some duct tape.

4. Instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you 
the choice of "Aww-right", "Naw", or "Git".  

5. Instead of "Ta-Dah!", the opening sound would be "Dueling  
Banjos". 

6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse.  

7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird!" 

8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders95 theme song would be   
"Boot Scootin' Boogie".  

9. Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt". 

10. Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz". 

11. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am. 

12. Daisy Duke screen saver. 

13. "Well, the first thing you know old Bill's a billionaire..." 

14. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator. 

15. Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates. 

16. "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a  "Junk Yard" 
presentation template. 

17. One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to 
face  with a 12 gauge shotgun.

18. "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson screen saver.

19. Directions to Corporate Headquarters - "Down the road a block
or so".

20. Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker-"Hookt on fonics 
werkt 4 me".

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