We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where 
 :)  means a smile and :( is a frown.   Sometimes these are represented by

:-) and  :-( respectively.  Well, how about some "ass cons"?

Here goes:
           (_!_)      a regular ass

           (__!__)    a fat ass

           (!)        a tight ass

           (_._)      a flat ass

           (_^^_)      a bubble ass

           (_*_)      a sore ass

           (_!__)     a lop-sided ass

           {_!_}      a swishy ass

           (_o_)      an ass that's been around

           (_O_)     an ass that's been around even more

           (_x_)     kiss my ass

           (_X_)     leave my ass alone

           (_zzz_)    a tired ass

           (_o^^o_)   a wise ass

           (_13_)     an unlucky ass

           (_$_)     Money coming out of his ass

           (_?_)   Dumb Ass