Save the whales. Collect the whole
A day without sunshine is like… night.
On the other hand, you have different
I just got lost in thought. It was
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in
a parallel universe.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean
would be without sponges.
Remember half the people you know are
Despite the cost of living, have you
noticed how popular it remains?
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without
The early bird may get the worm, but
the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about
I intend to live forever - so far so
Borrow money from a pessimist - they
don't expect it back.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you
have to buy her friends?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy
all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you
got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
Bills travel through the mail at twice
the speed of checks
No one is listening until you make
Success always occurs in private and
failure in full view.
The hardness of butter is directly
proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism;
to steal from many is research.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th
of your life.
You never really learn to swear until
you learn to drive.
The problem with the gene pool is that
there is no lifeguard.
The sooner you fall behind the more
time you'll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign
of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable except from vending
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
If you think nobody cares, try missing
a couple of payments.
Love may be blind but marriage is a
If at first you don't succeed, then
skydiving isn't for you.