An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

Have you exhausted the excuses for taking a day off?  Are all your grannies
dead?  Does the boss no longer believe the one about the crippled aunt
who keeps falling over?

Well, then, try these!  They're not *excuses*, they're *real*!


AIR CONTROLLERS SYNDROME: Peptic ulcers occurring among air traffic
controllers, as a result of job stress.   {Illinois Medical Journal, 1972}

ALOPECIA WALKMANIA: Loss of hair from prolonged use of personal stereo
headphones.   {Journal of the American Medical Association, 1984}

ANCHORMAN GLAZE: Glazed-eye look of TV anchorman caused by looking at
the teleprompter through glaring camera lights.
{Syracuse, New York, TV station, 1960}

ARTIC TEMPER: Extreme irritability developing amongst arctic explorers
exposed to darkness, monotony, isolation and sensory depravation.
{Lancet, 1910}

BEER DRINKERS FINGER: Swelling, bluish discoloration and wasting of
finger caused by placing pop-top beer can rings on finger.   {JAMA, 68}

BINGO BRAIN: The headache associated with carbon monoxide intoxication
which occurs after spending long hours in smoke filled bingo halls.
{Canadian Medical Association, 1982}

BIRDWATCHERS TWITCH: The nervous excitement of spotting a species for
the first time.   {New Scientist, 1982}

BODY BUILDERS PSYCHOSIS: Psychotic episodes associated with the use of
anabolic steroids; causing hallucinations, paranoid delusions, grandiose
beliefs and manic-depressive symptoms.   {Lancet, 1987}

BOOKSELLERS BENDS: Sickness caused by changes in atmospheric pressure
as the book the customer wants is always on the top shelf.   {?}

CASINO FEET: Soreness of the feet caused by standing in front of slot
machines for long periods of time.   {Wilmington Morning Star, 1981

CHICKEN NECK WRINGERS FINGER: Partial dislocation and arthritis of
middle finger joint from continued use of this finger to dislocate chicken
necks for slaughtering.   {BMA Journal, 1955}

CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION: Psychological stress during holidays related to
the use of alcohol and social pressures.   {JAMA, 1982}

CREDIT-CARD-ITIS: Pain over the rear and down thigh due to pressure on
nerve from a wallet stuffed with credit cards.
{New England Medical Journal, 1966}

DISCO DIGIT: A sore finger from snapping fingers while dancing.
{New England Medical Journal}

DOG WALKERS ELBOW: Pain caused by constant tension and tugs from a dog
leash.   {New England Medical Journal, 1979}

ELECTRONIC SPACE-WAR VIDEO-GAME EPILEPSY: Epilepsy caused by the
flashing lights of electronic video games.   {BMA Journal, 1982}

ESPRESSO WRIST: Pain in espresso coffee machine operators from strong
wrist motions required to make the coffee.   {JAMA, 1956}

FLIP-FLOP DERMATITIS: Skin disease on feet from wearing rubber
flip-flops. {BMA Journal, 1965}

FRISBEE FINGER: Cutting of finger from strenuous throwing of a frisbee.
{New England Medical Journal, 1975}

GOLF ARM: Shoulder and elbow pain after too many rounds of golf.
{BMA Journal, 1896}

HOOKERS ELBOW: Painful shoulder swelling suffered by fishermen
repeatedly jerking upwards on a fishing line.   {New England Medical Journal,
1981}

HOUSWIFITIS: Nervous symptoms related to spending too much time
managing a busy household.   {Centrescope, 1976}

HUMPERS LUMP: Swelling suffered by hotel porters from lugging heavy
bags. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}

ICE-CREAM FROSTBITE: Frostbite on the lips from prolonged contact with
ice-cream.   {New England Medical Journal, 1982}

JAZZ BALLET BOTTOM: Painful abscesses suffered by dancers who
frequently spin on their bottoms.   {Daily Telegraph, 1987}

JEANS FOLLICULITIS: Irritation of the hair follicles from the waist
down to the knees caused by ultra-tight jeans.
{New England Medical Journal, 1981}

JOYSTICK DIGIT: Trigger finger pain following prolonged use of video
game joysticks.   {JAMA, 1987}

KNIFE SHARPENERS CRAMP: Painful hand swelling from sharpening too many
knives.   {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}

LABEL LICKERS TONGUE: Ulcers in mouth from sensitivity to sticky
labels. {Dangerous Trades, 1902}

MONEY COUNTERS CRAMP: Painful seizure of muscles from counting too much
cash.   {English University Press, 1975}

MOTORWAY BLUES: The sort of headaches noted by drivers on congested
motorways.   {BMA Journal, 1963}

NUNS KNEE: Swelling of kneecap from repeated kneeling in prayer.
{Diseases of Occupations, 1975}

OYSTER SHUCKERS KERATITIS: Eye irritation from contact with fragments
of oyster shells.   {BMA Journal, 1896}

PANTIE GIRDLE SYNDROME: Tingling or swelling of feet from wearing a
too-tight pantie girdle.   {BMA Journal, 1972}

PLAYERS LIVER: The hazard of spending too long in the bar instead of
playing the game.   {Encyclopedia of Sports, 1971}

QUICK-DRAW LEG: Bullet wound in leg from practicing fast draw from gun
in belt holster.   {JAMA, 1966}

REFLEX HORN SYNDROME: Tendency for drivers waiting in traffic jams to
toot horns.   {New England Medical Journal, 1976}

RETIRED HUSBAND SYNDROME: Tension, headaches, depression and anxiety
felt by women whose husbands have just retired.
{Western Journal of Medicine, 1984}

SEAMSTRESSES BOTTOM: Hardening of skin following long-term trauma of
rocking on the hips while operating a sewing machine.
{American Family Physician, 1979}

SICK SANTAS SYNDROME: Low back pain from lifting heavy children and
parcels and acquired illnesses from multiple contact with kids.
{JAMA, 1986}

TELEVISION LEGS: Loss of normal flexibility of the legs from being
slumped in a chair in front of the box for too long.   {JAMA, 1958}

TOILET SEAT DERMATITIS: Skin irritation on rear from spending too much
time on the toilet.   {Archive of Dermatology, 1933}

UNIFORM RASH: Skin irritation of neck, chest and arms from wearing new
uniforms.   {BMJ, 1973}

VOLKSWAGEN DERMATITIS: Allergic skin reaction caused by rubber bumper
guards.   {Archive of Dermatology, 1971}

WORKING WIFE SYNDROME: Fatigue, irritability, headaches and diminished
sex drive from strain of doing two jobs.   {Lancet, 1966

YOGA FOOT DROP: Paralysis of foot due to compounded pressure from
practicing Yoga positions.   {JAMA, 1971}
Forwarded by: pharmgal@juno.com

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