MORE FUN COURT QUOTES:

   Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you
   observe with respect to your scalp?
   A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
   Q: It was covered?
   A: Yes, bandaged.
   Q: Then, later on.. what did you see?
   A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
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   Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
   A: I could see his head.
   Q: And where was his head?
   A: Just above his shoulders.
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   Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?
   A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.
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   Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder
   trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
   A: The victim lived.
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   Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
   A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.
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   Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective
      witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas?
   A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
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   Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?
   A: It indicates intercourse.
   Q: Male sperm?
   A. That is the only kind I know.
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   Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?
   A: Yes, sir.
   Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?