16) "What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren't enough for you,
tubby?"

15) "Your fullness will be short-lived.  Like an hour, tops."

14) "Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody
gets hurt."

13) "It takes a tough man to make tender chicken from a cat."

12) "You will meet a tall, dark man, not a stranger, who will
kill you.  He will kill Ron also."

11) "This coupon good for free 1-year subscription to Windows
Sources magazine."

10) "Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan."

9) "Spouse mad at you.  No get special 'wonton pork' tonight,
Chester."

8) "Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume
chef's bodily fluids."

7) "A wise man tips 20% to avoid severe tire damage."

6) "An 87 year old hooker awaits you.  Alright, let's see you
add '...between the sheets' to that one, smart guy."

5) "Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good
busboy.  Ask waitress for application."

4) "Hope you enjoyed your dinner, Mr. Bond."

3) "Wipe that drool off your chin.  That waitress you're ogling
is Mr. Woo's number one son."

2) "Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you
just ate was indeed duck."

and the Number 1 Worst Fortune Cookie Fortune...

1) "Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways
to stir soup."