An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

Subject: Rejected Hallmark Greetings..... 
1.      So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day...
        Look at the bright side, she's a really good lay.

2.      My tire was thumping
        I thought it was flat
        when I looked at the tire 
        I noticed your cat... 
        Sorry
  
3.      You had your bladder removed 
        and you're on the mends.... 
        here's a bouquet of flowers 
        and a box of Depends.
  
4.      You've announced that you're gay, 
        won't that be a laugh,
        when they find out you're one 
        of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 

 5.     Happy Vasectomy!
        Hope you feel zippy!
        'Cause when I had mine
        I got real snippy.
 
 6.      Heard your wife left you... 
         How upset you must be
         But don't fret about it 
         She moved in with me

7.      Your computer is dead
        it was once so alive
        Do you regret installing
        Win 95?

8.      You totaled your car
        and can't remember why
        could it have been
        that case of Bud Dry?

9.      So you're in love?
        That's very nice to hear.
        I heard he was the top...
        altarboy last year!
 
10.     I've never seen a woman
        who looked so sad. 
        Your sex change operation
        didn't turn out that bad.

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