The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)
 
 - Do You Love As Good As You Look?
 - Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
 - Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 
 - Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
 - Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares 
 - How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
 - Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral 
 - I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
 - I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling 
 - I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me 
 - I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
 - I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You 
 - I Wanna Whip Your Cow
 - I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
 - I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd  Win 
 - I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy 
 - I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
 - I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
 - I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your
   Welfare Line
 - If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You 
 - If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
 - If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You 
 - If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
 - If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will 
 - If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
 - Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) 
 - May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
 - My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
 - My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
 - My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was
   Breaking My Heart
 - My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
 - Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down,
   But Baby I Can See Through You
 - Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
 - She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And
   I Got The Finger
 - She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart 
 - She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
 - Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
 - They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From
   Breakin' Out
 - Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
 - When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
 - You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too 
 - You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
 - You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
 - You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The
   Bannister Of Life
 - You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly