**Bumper Stickers We'd Like to See** 

 I love animals, they taste great. 

EARTH FIRST!  We'll stripmine the other planets later. 

"Very funny, Scotty.  Now beam down my clothes." 

Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies. 

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. 

The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 

Assassins do it from behind.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 

I don't suffer from insanity.  I enjoy every minute of it. 

Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! 

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. 

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free? 

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.