An Archive of Email Forwards - ©Ouija Cat '98-'01

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         GREAT QUOTES OF MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS
        (A few are slightly risque, but very funny and true)
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When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky.
A woman already knows.
       -- Frederick Ryder

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
       -- Quentin Crisp (English writer)

Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
       -- Billy Crystal.

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed.  "Please, I'll only put
it in for a minute."  What am I, a microwave?
       -- Beverly Mickins (American comedienne)

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women?
So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.
       -- Mrs. Patrick Campbell (English actress)

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's;
her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.
       -- Sanskrit proverb

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't
 think there's a lot they don't know. Women do.  Women want to learn.
 Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
       -- Jerry Seinfeld

March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion, out like a lamb.
       -- Anonymous

Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
       -- Remy de Gourmant (French writer)

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks;
a woman loses hers after four kisses.
       -- H.L. Mencken (American writer, 1888-1956)

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence.
When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
       -- Warren Farrell (American Psychologist)

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her
think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
       -- Lyndon B. Johnson

Why get married and make one man miserable
when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
       -- Carrie Snow

The Lord made man before woman to give him time to think
of an answer for her first question.
       -- Anonymous

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