Ineffective Valentine's Day Sentiments
    
1.  Be My Valentine...and Nobody Gets Hurt.
     
2.  Won't You Be My Next Conquest?
     
3.  I Want You So Badly It Would Make You Sick!
     
4.  Interested in a Part-Time Career? Pretend to Like Me for $9.50 an 
Hour!
     
5.  My Mommy Says I Should Ask You to Be My Valentine.
     
6.  If I Can't Dig Up Anyone Else ... Do Me the Honor of Being My 
Valentine?
     
7.  Here's Your Candy...Now Make Me Dinner.
     
8.  Please Be My Valentine While My Real Boyfriend's Away.
     
9.  My Investigation Into Your Personal Affairs Has Turned Up No 
Financial Problems or Medical Anomalies, So Might I Contract with 
You to Assume the Presently Unoccupied Position as My Valentine?
     
10.  Join the Huge and Ever-Growing Group of People I've Had Intimate 
Relations With!
     
11.  Part of Me Wants to Ask You to Be My Valentine; and Part of Me 
Wants to Shave All the Hair Off Our Heads and Wrestle You in Jello.
     
12.  Yeah ... Well... Be My Valentine or Whatever.
     
13.  Let's Drink All Valentine's Day and See What Happens!
     
14.  On This Most Romantic Day, Let Me Declare to the World...
You'll Do.
     
15.  Sometimes the Utter Loneliness and Isolation Makes the Voices in 
My Head Tell Me to Do Things I Know Are Wrong. But Enough About Me...
Will You Be My Valentine?