***Dictionary of Dating

ATTRACTION:  the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:  what occurs when two extremely horny, but not
entirely choosy, people meet.

DATING:  the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, 
and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't
especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less 
in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL:  avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as 
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, 
and dating repulsive men (drummers?).

EASY:  a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals 
of a man.

EYE CONTACT:  a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a
man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so,
many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not
necessarily due to their shyness, but usually due to the fact that 
a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND:  a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has
some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE:  a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING:  a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him 
do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT:  what the endearing little qualities that 
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months
together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY:  how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC:  a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.

SOBER:  condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love