Directors at Daimler-Benz and Chrysler have announced an agree-
ment to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, 
rather than German, which was the other possibility.  As part of the 
negotiations, directors at Chrysler conceded that English spelling 
has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in 
plan.

In the first year,  "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Also the hard 
"c" will be replased with "k".  Not only will this klear up konfusion, but 
komputers kan have one less letter.  There will be grown kompany 
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be 
replased by "f".  This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, Daimler-Khrysler akseptanse of the new spelling 
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated shanges 
are possible.  Daimler-Krysler will enkourage the removal of double 
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is 
disgrasful, and they would go.  By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv 
to steps such as replasing "th" with "z", and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords
kontaining "ou", and similar schanges vud of kors be aplid to al 
ozer kombinations of leters.  

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor 
trubls or difikultis and employes vil find it ezi to komunikat viz ech ozer.  
Ov kors al supliers vil be expekted to svitsh to zis for al busines 
kominakation via Daimler-Khrysler.  

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!